Today, in preparation for Father’s Day I am posting my daughter, Carrie’s, Dad Blog. I am so proud of her. She’s way ahead of me in sharing her heart. She has written a tear jerker that will make a Happy Father’s Day for lots of dads. Enjoy.
The Dad Blog
By Carrie Seavers
So I have a love/hate relationship with social media. On one hand, I love that I can follow some of my family and friends that do not live close by me and I feel somewhat connected to them in a way that wasn’t possible a few years ago. On the other hand, I am very frustrated with the feelings that come over me when I read and see some of the stuff that people are not afraid to post for the world to see, and who doesn’t get weary of the drama that seems to follow some people??
These feelings of frustration overtook me recently when I read a post from someone proclaiming how much they missed their father who had passed away. There must be something wrong with me, I thought, I don’t miss my dad. Am I a terrible daughter for not missing him?? I wondered if I were unnecessarily dragging around things from my younger years that kept coming to mind that I needed to let go of. Like most people, I have my share of good memories from my childhood, and like most people, I have some memories that are not so good, and I have some memories that are just snippets of events we participated in or places we went, neither good nor bad, just memories from days long ago. (really, really long ago I might add!)
So in light of Father’s Day around the corner, I have decided it’s time for me to tell the world “My father was not perfect and I still loved him. I was not a perfect kid and he still loved me. I was not a perfect adult and he still loved me. He was not a perfect adult and I still loved him.”
So all in all, there was lots of love around.
In talking about this with one of my sisters recently, she said something that I didn’t really think too deeply about, until after I had mulled about the ‘missing my dad’ question for a few days.
She said “Maybe you don’t miss him because there has been/are other men in your life that have had good input and been good role models for you so there is not that empty void that maybe other people are expressing.”
Oh good one sista!
That got me thinking. Who are the men/dads in my life who have filled this position so wonderfully that I have not been burdened with the deep feelings of loss because my own father is not with us anymore?
I therefore, dedicate this post to all the men who I will tell you about right here, and how their lives have enriched mine by our paths crossing.
Maybe you don’t know them and maybe you do, but I am willing to bet that reading about them will trigger something in you about someone in your life that you need to be reminded to be grateful for.
So here goes, in no particular order of importance (or anything that reveals their age and how long I have known them!! LOL )
My husband Jim,,or Jimmie as I sometimes call him: here is a man who took me in my broken up mess, with my little 3 month old son, and made us his own. Even though we grew up in homes that could be considered totally different, he is a perfect fit and balance for me. He is – not a sniff of embellishing here – everything that a naïve little 15 year old teenager wrote on her list of things she wanted God to give her in a husband; a believer, a music lover, an outdoor enthusiast, good sense of humor, and good with kids. I am blessed to call him mine. There is not enough ink to tell all I have learned from and through him and with him, and look at us, we ignored that marriage councillor and have made it 29 years and counting! I love this guy.
My brother-in-law Cliff: this man came into our family later in life, and he has been a good fit! hahaha If anyone knows his bible and how to apply it, he does, and he is calm and fun, and encouraging, and honest, and he hunts and shoots and fishes and all those fun things that we love to do! And he loves my sister -and her family, and he loves his boys and their families. He’s been a spiritual giant of sorts to me.
My brother Dean; a brother has a place in the heart that is indescribable. For all the times us girls picked on you, and in spite of all the times you picked on us, we still feel the love. Whenever I hear “The Red Baron” song from Snoopy’s Christmas album I think of you, really I do. For some unknown reason that song has made a come-back on one of our radio stations so I think of you often during the Christmas season.
My brother-in-law John; you are one of the few people I know who came to Christ as an adult. How thankful we are for that, and how we enjoy our visits with you. You are real, and true, and down to earth.
My brother-in-law: Paul; on the rare occasion that you are not on the other side of the earth, literally, I have noticed that there is laughter wherever you are. In the serious business of spreading the Good news of salvation and redemption there is a need for joy and laughter, so keep doing that. And thanks.
My other brothers-in-law; Mike, Tom, Eddie, our friends Dave, Jeff, Miles, Doug and more: It’s always overwhelming to me to have known all these guys for so many years, and see you all as husbands without children, and then see you with babies, and then with teenagers, and now with grown children and even some grandchildren!! My brain knows you are so tough (yeah you are!) but you are all really just a bunch of big soft mush-pots where your kids are concerned and it’s been so much fun to see. I could write a story about each one of you, but I won’t – you can thank me later!
Who would have taught us to ride a dirt bike (not me personally but Jim), or how to shoot a bow, or how to be really rowdy during a Scrabble game (yes it’s true), and foster a love of being on the water in a pontoon boat – even deathly afraid of water like I am, or shared quiet moments sitting in a lawn chair around a campfire staring at the stars together, and who else would we have had those deep conversations with when we were disappointed with life situations or just needed some family and friends time? I have seen these dads handle joy, and pain, and upset, and illness, and all that life throws at us and they came out shining. These are things only a dad can teach, and talk about, and these are all the dad’s in my life that do it.
My parents were Missionaries in Northern Alberta and then Dad became a Pastor and we lived and roamed around Saskatchewan. I have these things in my life that I know are embedded in me from my parents:
-travel – yup, just do it…where to next? Jump in the car and go? Okay.
-camp – yes, in a big outrageous blue bus? Or everyone in a tent? OK
-animals – yes, how many? which one haven’t we had? Dogs are the favorite.
-people – love them, all are welcome, point them to Him.
-work – yes, work hard, Be helpers.
I had a dream once that a bunch of us died and went through a big gate and there was my dad sitting in a big lazy-boy type chair, and he said with a big smile “come on in, I’ve been waiting.” And with a wave of his arm he welcomed us in.
Maybe this is why I do not miss him, because I will see him again, and I have all these amazing men in my life that have filled the gap in his absence.
I look forward to seeing him again one day and telling him about you all.
Happy Father’s Day from my heart to yours.
You can see more of Carrie’s blogs at : clsfergy.blogspot.com